letting it all out.
May 12, 2008
I was going to post this last night before bed, but I wanted a chance to sleep on it…get my thoughts together & see if they changed.
They haven’t – so here goes.
Dating is a funny & confusing thing. When you meet someone, you put on your best “face” & tell them all of your shining qualities. Take them to the nicest restaurant in the city, hang on to their every word and when the night is over, you send them a cutesy singing e-card telling them what a great time you had and how their “perfume is still lingering on your shirt.” *insert “yeah right” face here* As the days turn into week, the weeks into months, you slowly begin to see someone who you realize you’re not all that acquainted with. By this time, most likely, you have already fallen in love with the original person you were presented with, and you have no clue what to do..so you wing it. You pretend that watching re-runs of The Office is your favorite weekend activity, that their snoring is “not all that bad”, Sex is an overrated activity better left to the HS kids & that paying $5 for a great cup of Starbucks IS absurd.
All the while, you’re trying to find just one good excuse to get out and run for the hills.
So, you finally muster up enough courage & strength to say ” I’ve had enough.” Not to say you didn’t love the person..but you realize that in the process of loving them & being there- you lost yourself. You stopped being all the things that YOU loved about yourself and transformed into this BEING to accommodate your mate. And it hurts.. a lot. But, in all the pain & anguish..you see a light..and it’s warm against your flesh.
It is in that moment, when you’ve found yourself again.
“I’ve made mistakes in my life
I’ve let people take advantage of me
And I’ve accepted way less than I deserve
But, I’ve learned from my bad choices
And even though there are somethings I can never get back
Some words I can never take back
And people who will never be sorry
I’ll know better next time
I won’t settle for anything less than what I deserve.”
My random quote for today 
May 12, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Love is no different than any other experiences in our lives – we live & learn. As long as you’ve learned & apply those lessons to your future, it’s all good. Whomever says love is easy was lying, lol.
May 12, 2008 at 9:51 pm
*stands up holdn my Starbux* o-m-g so totally makes sense. *snapsz*
May 15, 2008 at 2:31 am
Reading this blog truly hit home for me. Without getting all deep into it one can truly be thankful for it being months and days instead of years.. Some of us spend so much time fooling ourselves into believing that she can be the one…only if she would to…or maybe she would…or if she….so on and on. We have to take people for who they truly are and not what we want them to be. I have been in many situations where I have made exceptions….thats not what life is about. As hard as we work towards making ourselves as perfect as possible, I believe we dont deserve anything less. If we want prefection then thats what we deserve in our mates. Maybe the one that wasnt perfect for me will be for someone else and that someone else who wasnt perfect for them will be perfect for me. So in other words let the birds fly so they can find a more suitable home.