happiness – Exit 27

One of the hardest decisions we ever make in life is leaving a long-term relationship that just isn’t working. When attempts at repairing and working out issues aren’t working, it may be time to examine moving on. We are emotional creatures, and when our heartstrings are tied to those of another, separating from that person can feel like an act of courage. It is not something most of us will take lightly, and many of us will struggle with our desire to stay in a relationship that is unfulfilling simply in order to avoid that pain. We may question whether the happiness we seek even exists, and we may wonder if we might be wiser to simply settle where we are, making the best of what we have.

On the one hand, we almost relish the idea that true happiness is not out there so that we can avoid the pain of change. On the other hand, we feel within ourselves a yearning to fulfill our desire for relationships that are vital and healing. Ultimately, most of us will follow this call, because deep within ourselves we know that we deserve to be happy. We all deserve to be happy, no matter where we find ourselves in this moment, and we are all justified in moving, like plants toward the light, in the direction that leads to our greatest fulfillment. First, though, we may need to summon the courage to move on from the relationship that appears to be holding us back.

Taking the first steps will be hard, but the happiness we find when we have freed ourselves from a situation that is draining our energy will outshine any hardship we undergo to get there. Keeping our eyes trained on the horizon, we begin the work of disentangling ourselves from the relationship that no longer fits. Every step brings us closer to a relationship that will work, and the freedom we need to find the happiness we deserve.

end of the week wrap-up.

“The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn.
“

one more week – and I plan to set this bitch ablaze.. because I will NEVER cross over it again.

yep

Oh, just another reminder – hit the comment space to get the link to the new & raw blog.. k? k

please enjoy the music while your party is being reached – v.2.0

For my readers who aren’t able to see the video for whatever reason.. it’s Stay by Lisa Loeb.  GO DOWNLOAD IT! Everyone should have this song in this collection, especially if they can relate. Lyrics are below:

“Stay”

you say I only hear what I want to.
you say I talk so all the time so.

and I thought what I felt was simple,
and I thought that I don’t belong,
and now that I am leaving,
now I know that I did something wrong ’cause I missed you.
yeah, I missed you.

and you say I only hear what I want to:
I don’t listen hard,
I don’t pay attention to the distance that you’re running
or to anyone, anywhere,
I don’t understand if you really care,
I’m only hearing negative: no, no, no.

so I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up,
and this woman was singing my song:
the lover’s in love, and the other’s run away,
the lover is crying ’cause the other won’t stay.

some of us hover when we weep for the other who was
dying since the day they were born.
well, this is not that:
I think that I’m throwing, but I’m thrown.

and I thought I’d live forever, but now I’m not so sure.

you try to tell me that I’m clever,
but that won’t take me anyhow, or anywhere with you.

you said that I was naive,
and I thought that I was strong.
I thought, “hey, I can leave, I can leave.”
but now I know that I was wrong, ’cause I missed you.

you said, “You caught me ’cause you want me and one day you’ll let me go.”
“you try to give away a keeper, or keep me ’cause you know you’re just so scared to lose.
and you say, “stay.”

you say I only hear what I want to.

And just like that she was gone.

I know I said the last entry would be it – but I figured I needed some profound parting words – so here they are.

You never thought she would be the one to walk away for good but then she did.
You always thought you would be able to pull her back to you whenever you wanted but then you couldn’t.
She will be your biggest regret.
The one you will think about daily for the rest of your life.
The one whose eyes you could get lost in, whose arms you could melt in.
The one that you never fully learned to appreciate.
The one whose laugh could bring a smile to even the hardest of hearts.
The one who knew exactly which buttons to push and how hard to push when you made her mad.

Soon, when you can no longer smell her scent, when you no longer remember what her skin felt like against yours, when you forget the warmth of her smile and the depth of love in her eyes for you, you will realize that you lost it all.

Take care of yourselves, babies – take care of the ones you love. Let them know you care. Life is short and one day you could lose it all.

Remember : leave me a comment with an email address or way to contact you and I’ll be glad to link you to the new blog   ( it’s not on wordpress, so STALKER(S), don’t try and find me .

so full…so tired…so done.

I think the title pretty much sums it up…. but just in case, I have a song.

And in case you can’t watch it, lyrics are below. ( I’ve taken the liberty of highlighting the parts that are closest to what I’m feeling.)

I wish I could believe you then I’ll be alright
But now everything you told me really don’t apply
To the way I feel inside
Loving you was easy once upon a time
But now my suspicions of you have multiplied
And it’s all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
‘Cause I can’t go on and pretend like
I haven’t tried to forget this
But I’m much too full of resentment

Just can’t seem to get over the way you hurt me
Don’t know how you gave another who didn’t mean a thing, no
The very thing you gave to me
I thought I could forgive you and I know you’ve changed
As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain’t the same
And it’s all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
‘Cause I can’t go on and pretend like
I haven’t tried to forget this
But I’m much too full of resentment

I may never understand why
I’m doing the best that I can and I
I tried and I tried to forget this
I’m much too full of resentment

I’ll always remember feeling like I was no good
Like I couldn’t do it for you like your mistress could
And it’s all because you lied

[Bridge:]
Loved you more than ever
More than my own life
The best part of me I gave you
It was sacrificed
And it’s all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
‘Cause I can’t go on and pretend like
I tried and I tried to forget this
But I’m too damn full of resentment

I know she was attractive BUT I WAS HERE FIRST
Been ridin’ with you for six years why did I deserve
To be treated this way by you, you
I know your probably thinking what’s up with Jai
I been crying for too long what did you do to me
I used to be so strong but now you took my soul
I’m crying cant stop crying cant stop crying
You could of told me that you wasn’t happy
I know you didn’t wanna hurt me
But look what you done-done to me now
I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she’s had half of me

How could you lie?

live and learn…then move forward.

The last few months have been tough for me…a lot of which I can honestly say was self- inflicted. I put myself in situations that I knew were a dead end and allowed people to abuse my love..my heart…my being. In the end, I’m a better person because of it. Originally, it sucked..BIG TIME. But now, that’ve taken a step back & analyzed the situation, I’ve realized that I’m a better person because of it…without it..and thru it all. Me hating the people involved won’t change anything…and all it will do is block my blessing and keep me from moving forward. In the last week, I’ve been so unbelievably blessed…all because I took the advice of a very special person in my life – I stopped stressing, stopped worrying about what everyone else was doing…got on my knees & prayed. There is so much power in being on your knees, humbled in front of HIM and giving him all your worries & concerns. He has truly listened to my cries(literally and figuretivly) and has been the force that is getting me thru my days. I now realize that with time, all wounds heal, that I am worth the truth,love & commitment 1000%  & I am going to be okay…

no matter who tries to break my stride.

weight loss and other stuff.

Okay so this is a 2 part blog. I want to update you guys on my “reduction”, as well as talk about other stuff.

First things first- I am now down 35 lbs. *throws confetti* I am beyond excited and way proud of myself – because there were times that I wanted to give up…thought I truly wasn’t going to make it. But I have awesome friends who have kept me going and encouraged me beyond belief! I am so thankful for them . Soooo… I have ammended my original plan to just get down to a size 14..because as it stands, I’m not even at my goal and I’m at that size. So, now I’m onward to size 12..maybe even 10, but we’ll see *smile*

The second part of this blog is called “onegirl2pots.com” . I’m not certain that is a real website, but it should be. It’s not for porn,it’s more for the people who want their cake and eat it too.

For the people who DON’T want you – yet can’t stand the thought of you with anyone else and for that reason alone, try and keep you close enough to watch you, but don’t want you TOO close.

I have a message for anyone who does this, has does this or is thinking of doing this – STOP IT!

You cannot keep your finger in 2 pots – you have to decide which one contains the most appealing contents…and take solely from that one.

Be VERY careful what you ask for and be absolutely certain that is what you want…because in the words of Jay-Z ” Once a good girl’s gone-she’s gone forever”…..